All About Dr. Clive
by Karen Lee
NAME: Dr. E. Coley Clive
LIVING ARRANGEMENT: My cozy surgeon's berth on Renown.
FAVORITE PASTIME: Conducting "maze" experiments with Captain Sawyer down
in the cable tier. He's doing much better, btw. He's found the cheese
twice last week. Treatments must be working. V. Encouraging.
FAVORITE BOOK: "I'm OK, You're Dying of Septic Gangrene"
THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: Taking my wig off and scratching my
scalp with a slicker brush.
THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: Finding out that little pasty-faced
git, Wellard, has found my stash again. Thieving junkie.
FAVORITE SMELLS: A good, clean wound, stitched up in its own blood.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING: Is that my
head, or did someone just blow up a munitions dump?
BATTLE: SCARY OR EXCITING: Exciting! Plus, I get to exercise the
FAVORITE FOODS: Steak tartare.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: what? I am a man of science! Ice cream hasn't even
been invented yet, fer goshsakes!
STORMS, COOL OR SCARY: Cool! Maybe someone will fall off a spar and I can
justify my salary by pronouncing them dead. Plus, it drowns the fleas that
have taken up residence in my wig <SMACK<scratch, scratch, scratch
FAVORITE DRINK: Yes. Another, please. What do you mean, closing time?
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE: I would
like to have my own hair.
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE: I wish I still looked like I did when I played Mr. Darcy. Anybody wanna see me
glower and smolder? I was good! I tell you, I was good! And I had hair,
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: I bought a girl a diamond I seen on TV. It
came with a certificate of authenticity. I knew I was in trouble when she
said (in quotes): "I couldn't see this diamond with a microscope". She
always said that he was funny. She never told me 'bout his money. But I'm
ok, I'm gonna be just fine, if I can drink her off of my mind.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: Are you implying that I am an
alcoholic? I only drink for medicinal purposes, it is...<hic...a very good
germicidal solutino, gin, I meen.
WHAT'S IN YOUR ANXIETY CLOSET: I can't remember. This always helps.
Want a swig?
WHAT'S YOUR LOFTIEST DREAM: I would like to find a cure for multiple
gunshot wounds to the liver, stomach, spleen, and kidneys. Barring that, I
wish I could train my leeches to sit up and beg for tidbits.
WHAT'S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE: A very strong wind when a good-looking lady
is giving me the ol' eye.
WHAT DO YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT YOU THAT YOU FEEL THEY DON'T: I'm not
the utter prick I appear to be at first, second, third, and fourth glance.
WHAT OTHER HH CHARACTER WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ANSWER THIS
The third Captain at the Court-Martial. He seemed like a reasonable sort.