Just Jack (An "All About" fic)
by Madi Holmes


So you wish to know all about me, eh? Are you sure that you really would
like to know me? What I've done, what I know of humanity in all of its glory. My
miracles and my sins. I shall tell you, if that is what you want. But it
will cost you. I do not give this freely, there will be a price of my own
devising. You might or might not enjoy it, but I certainly will.

NAME: I was christened John Simpson at the age of 3 weeks, which was later
turned into "Jack" for various reasons. I was named after an uncle, an
Anglican bishop in Durham. I have been told that I have many of his physical and
philosophical attributes, which pleased him as well as myself.

LIVING ARRANGEMENT: In the mess with the cowards, drunks, and worthless lot.
It does provide its own amusements, though.
FAVORITE PASTIME: I enjoy many things. Perhaps I shall tell you only one of
my less enjoyable ones. In every port, there are girls and sometimes boys, if
they're of the right type. These bonny lads and lasses are unseen by most
people. But I notice them, and they are well paid for their services rendered.

FAVORITE BOOK: I have read a bit in my time. Most of the time, I find it a
complete boor. However, there is this French book called Philosophy in the
Boudoir. It has changed me, honed me into what I am today. Without it, I would
have been nothing. A coward. Brutus cowering in the night.

THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: that change in a person's face from
defiance to complete and utter submission. It lasts merely seconds, and after those
few seconds, there is nothing. But those blessed seconds.....

THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: I have yet to feel something that did not
agree with me. Oh, I have felt anger at failing the exams, but someone
somewhere will always be there, waiting to cheer me up. It never fails.

FAVORITE SMELLS: Fear. It's palpable. I thrive on it. But it's only one
aspect of that particular experience.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING:
Whom shall render unto Caesar first?

BATTLE: SCARY OR EXCITING: A good fight only makes it that much more
interesting.

FAVORITE FOODS: Nothing tastes as good as that which is given.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Does it matter?

STORMS, COOL OR SCARY: I prefer the dry, dark places of the ship.

FAVORITE DRINK: Whatever is available.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE: To make every sniveling snotty understand his true purpose in life- to be insolent at
first, while it's still amusing, and then to render unto Caesar.
IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE: Not a whit

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: I prefer other things to pass the time.
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: It won't be anything after I'm done
with it.

WHAT'S IN YOUR ANXIETY CLOSET:

WHAT'S YOUR LOFTIEST DREAM: To one day rule my own ship by my own rules.

WHAT'S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE: That Keene will die and that Eccleston will
someday grow a modicum of intelligence.

WHAT DO YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT YOU THAT YOU FEEL THEY DON'T: That they are to respect me.

WHAT OTHER HH CHARACTER WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ANSWER THIS
QUESTIONNAIRE: None of them, they have already confessed their sins to me.
I already know their dark secrets, things they would never say in this format. Perhaps you would also like to unburden your own dreams and nightmares onto me. I am always game to hear one more tale....