Poems
by Phillipa

OK, so shoot me :)

SIMPSON

Was Simpson sweet by bullet hit. The surgeon examined IT.
Tried to find brain, but found air! For Oh My God, there's nothing there!
He moaned: "Life is so unfair! Sometimes I really do despair."

ON HIS PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

His hair is ratty but he perseveres. His skin is a quilt of both splotches and smears.
To hide his infirmities he conjures sneers. The rats dissapear when Simpson appears.
He's pasty, snivel-nosed, and sadly cross-eyed. It's time nasty Simpson had 'bought it" and died.
Whoever will kill him is getting three cheers. The line's starting here, my bloodthirsty dears.

MR TAPLING

Who's as round as he's tall?
Whose gut's profound, but brain's small?
Diplomatic service him won't miss,
If we throw him into abyss.

HORATIO

What's in a name, you will suppose,
And then you'll mention Shakespeare's rose.
But if it's long and speaks of horns,
(And you're tone-deaf) it'll problems cause.

ARCHIE

He's blond, he's cute and so much fun,
When he was scuttled, I was undone.
But he's in Spain: gaunt, dying...shaved.
Besides his barber, wants no one.

PELLEW

He's smart, he's proper, but not prim.
All hats..err, tricornes, off to him!
I want to sail with his command:
E'en weevils flock to him!